SELLER: Chris Elliott
LOCATION: Old Branchville Road, Ridgefield, CT
PRICE: $1,689,000
SIZE: 7,667 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 5 full and 2 half bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: The special home is situated on a private 2.4 acre lot backing up to Town Conservancy land to the rear and town Open space to the front offering views of Lake Noroneke. The residence sits far back from the road providing maximum privacy and displays beautiful custom stone walls. The home boasts impeccable style and luxurious details of the highest level with architectural delights that include the perfect blend of stone, granite, marble and hardwoods. Exceptional in form and function and unsurpassed for entertaining and living, the main living area provides 5,765 square feet with an additional 1,900 feet on the walk-out lower level…
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: While out chasing rabbits this weekend, we received a covert communique from Mister Dave over at Celebrity Address Aerial who thoughtfully notified Your Mama that kind of corny but completely fearless comedian Chris Elliott had hoisted his house in Ridgefield, CT on the market with an asking price of $1,689,000.
Mister Elliott started up his ladder of fame in the 1980s writing for Late Night With David Letterman where he earned himself nine Emmy nominations and an impressive four Emmy awards. Among other film and television endeavors, he went on to a single season of Saturday Night Live in the mid-1990s, wrote and starred in the stoopid cult favorite comedy Cabin Boy and made dozens of successful and memorable spins through boob-toob programs like Dilbert, Everybody Loves Raymond, King of the Hill and many more. Whether y’all like his particular brand of buffoonery or not, Mister Elliott comes to comedy quite naturally. His father is Bob Elliott of Bob and Ray fame and he’s passed his jocular genes to his daughter Abby who recently followed her family’s funny footsteps on to the cast of Saturday Night Live.
Property records show Mister Elliott and his wifey Paula purchased their colonial style house on scenic Old Branchville Road in March of 2003 for $1,820,000. It does not take much flicking of the well worn beads of our bejeweled abacus to figure out that Mister and Missus Elliott have priced their colonial style crib $131,000 less than they paid for the place six years ago. This is a reflection of a sagging real estate market in that neck of the woods, a very strong desire by the couple of sell the property as quickly as possible, or both. We’ll let the children decide on that.
According to the unnecessarily hyperbolic listing information, the Elliott’s stately yet very ordinary East Coast mini-mansion sits up a long driveway and is bordered by protected lands to the back and Lake Noroneke at the front, an itty bitty body of water which looks to Your Mama’s beady little eyes to be more of a pond than a lake. The property spans a generous 2.45 acres and the bulky clapboard sided domicile measures 5,765 square feet plus an additional 1,900 square feet in the finished walk-out basement. Listing information reveals there are 5 bedrooms and 5 full and 2 half bathrooms including a “gorgeous” but barely decorated master suite with a sitting room, an “impressive bath with exquisite finishes” and two odd and unhappy making area rugs depicting sea shells and star fishes.
The main level is entered through an impress the guests two-story entrance hall “graced” with columns that lead to the formal living where we find a fireplace, built in bookshelves and a cattle ranch’s worth of leather furniture. The dining room has inlaid wood floors, a traditional milled chair rail, purple painted walls and some tacky fake flowers on the dining room table. The library contains more custom built in book shelves that include a sliding ladder for reaching the top shelves.
The large family friendly kitchen sports heavily milled cabinetry, wood floors, high-grade appliances, wood floors, granite counter tops and more depressing faux flowers placed in the center of the large work island. In addition to the glassed in breakfast room, there are a few stools pulled up to the work island for feeding the kiddies on the fly. The adjacent, family room has a stone fireplace, a wall of built in cabinetry, lots of traditional and tufted furniture pieces and almost nothing that qualifies as decorating.
Although we’re well aware that some people like them because they can stash their loud children down there with their Wiis and annoying friends, Your Mama loathes finished basements. However, the Elliott basement is a walk-out sort of thing which means that one side is level with the round and therefore does not feel like some dank and dark underground place. The Elliot’s tile floored finished basement includes a game room, play room, exercise room, study/family room and a full bathroom.
The grounds include rolling lawns, custom stone walls, a small concrete rear terrace for grillin‘ and chillin‘ in the summertime and views into the surrounding woods which we imagine are a riot of fall colors during leaf peeping season.
We don’t have a clue where the Elliott’s will be decamping.
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